Master Fish's FAB LiveJournal

Time:	6:34 pm.
Mood:	ditzy.

Aren't material clothes a wonderful invention?

I've often pondered this thought as I pop my clothes in the washing machine. A washing machine I must add that was kindly donated to me by Katrina's father when he upgraded to one that irons as well.

It would be a right pain in the butt if you had to add clothes to your shopping list every week because you'd used them all up and thrown them out, or put them on the open fire. Instead, we can keep using the until they wear holes in them, or if you're a guy, you can keep wearing them even if they do have holes in them. Much to your girlfriend's chargrin.

I'm off to welly for 3 days next week, which reminds me.... I should really tell Shannon in case I've forgotten to mention it.

Oh yeah, the landlord is popping around for a visit on Saturday, so I have to make sure that everything's in tip top condition, and that the bodies are nicely dismembered and in the freezer out of sight.

I've been running a training course this week, and I think I gave it too much. I'm rather worn through. But as a famous sage always says.... Coffee can fix that.

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Subject:	Good grief!
Time:	9:53 pm.
Mood:	chipper.

Am I Really Back?

A figment of your imagination? No! Here I am.
I've been so lazy I should be beaten.

I went to Rotavegus with Catherine on the weekend, and we spent the whole weekend Luge'ing, eating and sleeping. It was fantastic. I thought that they had designed the luge so that you can go down it as fast as you possibly can without braking and you'd be able to go around the corners okay. But there's a few pointers here - Firstly pick a luge buggy that is actually big enough for you. Mine tunred out to be too small and the handlebar thingyies hit my knees and wouldn't turn properly. Also remember to brake before a corner. I didn't, and my luge didn't take the corner and I ended up in the dirt.

Catherine laughed.

What else has been happening? Hmmm I did a video for work, an induction video. But it wasn't normal, it was a funny joking one, and it turned out rather well. Unfortunately I can't broadcast it as it doesn't protray my company in a very glamourous light. I got to film myself with my tongue stuck to the ice of the freezer for our OSH portion of the video. So yeah.

There's so much to say really that I shouldn't bother, other than to say that I'm going to be regular again.

Promise!

I've been eating roughage.

Are you still reading this Phil? I hope so. I could be talking to myself.

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Time:	10:24 pm.
Mood:	amused.

I'm reading this book at the moment called 'Everybody smokes in hell', written by a chappie called John Ridley. Even though I'm only a couple of chapters in, I can tell I'm going to love it. He has a very well tuned sence of perception about the world - here's an example:

To the east, the sun was getting with the sky. It lit up the empty blue, set on fire the morning smog like a match to kindling, and turned the pollutant shroud a magnificent gold. So nagnificent you almost wanted to thank God for all the millions of cars that had donared their exhaust to make the display possible.

We went out to dinner tonight, and one of Catherine's friends is a vegetarian. In fact, she is so vegetarian she's getting rid of her bone hook necklace hippy thing and getting a greenstone instead, because wearing a bone one 'Isn't good to be seen'. Anyways, she mentioned that she's now volunteering at the SPCA, and this was the thought running through my head at the time:

Girl: I've volunteered to work for the SPCA!
Me: But... but.... you can't eat the animals!

Catherine didn't think it appropriate for me to verbalise.
Talking of animals, a friend of a friend is wanting to get rid of his cat because they've just had a baby, and the cat has the habit of climbing in the cot, and they don't want it to end up smothering the baby (Which by the way is terribly cute). So I've volunteered to take the aforementioned kitty. However, this may not come to pass as he may give it to someone else. (And no, I don't really eat domestic animals).

Oh, I'll have to talk to Shannon and see if he's allergic to cats first.

I've been to Wellington, Christchurch and Dunedin last week for work. Cold. Very cold. It's hugely good to get away from Auckland for a while though.

I was in such a bad frame of mind today, that when there was a story on the radio about the aid needed in Africa, I was thinking, "Why don't you bloody well help yourselves you bunch of tossers". It was about then that I realised that I was acting a little irrational. I put it down to mondo stress, and decided to not care any more. Stress is a funny we thing isn't it? It's all in your mind.

I do care about the africans.

really.

I do.

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Time:	6:44 pm.
Mood:	chipper.

After reading a comment on another journal, I am now wondering why your pee is flourescent after having vitamin B. Is B a glowing vitamin or something? Does it bring happiness to your life, and put a spring in your step? Can an overdose of B cause herpes?

Life is very good at the moment. I'm having a lot of fun, and I'm about to go traveling around NZ again.... Although recently I've been working on the documentation for one of the projects I've worked on, and it's turning out to be a real brain-numbing job; I'd hate to be a documenter for a living.... no wonder when you read those japanese technical manuals they hardly make any sense. The people who wrote them could have written them perfectly, but they're so sick of their job that they've resorted to taking the piss out of us all just to keep themselves amused.

I've also decided that if you don't use liquid nugget, you're a clown. It goes on ohhhh so well, and leaves a shine so deep that you can see your happy face looking back at you.

Chocolate is also good, but I wouldn't use it to coat your shoes with. Although that could be a great idea if you have people licking your boots all day. Take pity on the plebs - give them a chocolate treat.

I'd also like to talk about women. Anyone got any clue on how they tick?

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Time:	5:50 pm.
Mood:	rejuvenated.

I'm off to a fancy type of dinner for my dad's 60th. We had a get together last Monday, but that was for appearances on his actual birthday, as Dad has no idea about tonight.

Amanda and Aaron came over last night and had a pictionary challenge with Cathrine and me; oh, the thrills of the badly drawn pictures! The tantrums to be had when it wasn't guessed! Catherine had also cooked us this fantastic pasta dish with a whole cooked chicken and creme freche. Talk about almost ending the night by being so filling as to send us all sleepy. Mmmmm

I got an estimate for the repair of my video camera as well. Canon (the b'stards) are trying to shaft me, and I'm not liking it one little bit. They want to replace bits that they put in last time it was in for repar (End of last year), and only 5 or so brand new tapes have been put through it since I got it back last time. I think their technician is lacking technical aptitude, and is just throwing parts at it, hoping it'll rectify the problem. I'm sure as hell not paying another 300 again. Roar.

It hasn't been cold enough in recent weeks to light the fire again, so I'm hanging out for winter to kick in big time. How romantic!

The landlady finally got pissed off with us not cutting the lawn, and sent around a lawn mower guy to do an estimate. Comes out to 16$, and that's including the edges being done as well. I still think we should get a goat.

Do I look different to you?

Quotes:
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I see from the paper today that a French motorist tried to run down a pedestrian he thought looked like Osama bin Laden. Ah, those crazy frogs. That's what eating cows' brains does to you.</u>

Wouldn't it have been more logical for Osama to be riding a donkey or something? Maybe a cruise missile I could understand. I wonder it you'd burn your bum sitting ona cruise missile. Is there any rating system anywhere that spells out which missile is most comfortable to sit on whilst it's in flight?

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Time:	4:41 pm.
Mood:	chipper.

I've been leaving such a long time between posts lately that they could all well start with ".... Where to begin??". There's just too much going on to dwell on my normal inconsequential topics really, but why break tradition huh?

I'm still absolutely loving my new flat. I've pretty much been sparking up the indoor fire every day this week; it feels great relaxing on the sofa in front of the flames. It's quite a dry heat though, and quite often my contacts start annoying me because of it, but really a small price to pay for bliss.

I'm still trying to talk couples-friends into coming around for pictionary night. I have a brand new pictionary board dammit, and I know how to use it! Stand back and what the quick draw.

I wish Phil would get his own live journal. He is wasting all his talent on his customers.

I've been popping along this week to 'arty' movies with Catherine. Sure, one of them was actually main stream, and you get to see Meg Ryan's titties, but the other movie was about this dwarf person who inherits a train station out in the country. It was pretty good actually, I'd probably tell someone to see it if they had a spare minute, or if it was free. I'm pretty sure I could make one of these arty things, it's really quite easy. It's pretty much stream of thought from what I can tell, there wasn't the normal struture you'd expect in a film, it had very little beginning, most of it was middle, and then there wasn't an ending that tied up any loose ends, and it's very unlikely there'll be a sequel.

I've read 'The redemption of Althalus' again, just because it's one of my most favourite books, and I had nothing else to read at the time. I'd recommend it to anyone who likes the fantasy stuff. It doesn't have very much bad language in it either, making it ideal as a gift for that favourite 4 year old of yours.

Quotes:
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It worries me that that pit is more under my bedroom than yours.

Well, if it's any consolation, there's worse things to have under your bed. Off the top of my head, I'd say that a rotting cows leg would be pretty putrid.

I suggest scratching at Paul's door at two a.m., groaning like a demented beast just for a joke and a bit of a laugh..! I'll be interested to read what the eventual outcome is. Perhaps incarceration in a mental asylum..?! Cool.

I'd just yell out in a sleepy 'Dr Evil' tone of voice, "Shannon, stop humping the hallway". Lucky I've vacuumed recently, otherwise it could be a bit gritty.

Shannon: You haven't seen the pit, by the look. Dracula is the kind of vampire that would want a stylish pit, marble and granite. With some kind of silk hangings.
No, this is the "loner disgruntled hick" type pit. It smells of damp dirt. I can imagine somebody with a sawn-off shotgun, three teeth, chewing tobacco, and hadn't had a wash since 1984..
Phil:I think if you take a closer look in your pit, you'll find the real Saddam, not that imposter the Americans found in Iraq.
It is also possible that Dracula has fallen on hard times and is now on the dole. Therefore, he would have to down-grade considerably. Possibly to an earthy pit smelling of fetid socks and vile putrid stinky rotting corpses. 'cos it used to be a hangi.

It's really quite difficult who to be more concerned about really - Saddam or Dracula. I'm sure there's a joke in there somewhere about who sucks the most. Be that as it may, they're not paying any of the bloody rent, so they can piss off.

I'll try not to neglet my public duties for so long. I keep saying that, but it just seems to take a while for me to get around to doing things lately. Who invented MS Access? The brain-sapping piece of software it is. I blame all the worlds problems on it; it's had me stressing for the past 2 weeks.

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Subject:	The Meat Loaf Report
Time:	5:53 pm.
Mood:	lethargic.

Ian told me today that he had heard mixed reports from people about the Meat Loaf concert - some said it was crap, others said it was the best concert they'd ever been to.
I think my opinion lies somewhere in the middle there. He was certainly not as good vocally as last time, but I think it's to do with him now being older, and having been sick quite a bit, and his life is probably in the crapper what with his divorce and all, and it was the last 2 shows in his long, arduous world tour.

Patricia Rossi was amazing. She pretty much kept the concert going. I love her.

I had a good time though, and was feeling a little Meat Load elitest, if there's such a thing. I was thinking dark thoughts about those people who had gotten better seats, who probably didn't appreciate the music as much as I did. How sad is that? All these people who were going wild over the songs primarily off his first album (Bat out of Hell), and yet didn't seem to recognise any of the better songs. Go figure. Out of the frying pan and into the fire! Wahoo! They played that.
Oh yeah, the guitarists were amazing. Truly, utterly talented. One looked like Billy Idol! All dressed in leathers with short bleach blond hair. He almost looked like the bad dude out of Bladerunner.

The flatwarming was fun. Everyone who tunred up seemed very decent. I think Shannon has a good taste in friends! I say that because most the people I invited didn't turn up until much later, although the lovely Lynda and her mate Catherine were there, oh yeah, G, Lou and Ant were as well. I had to commission Ant into BBQ duty, as Aaron the BBQ king couldn't make it. I didn't want people frothing at the mouth with food poisoning!

Work is a bit of a drag at the mo. But they're still serving free coffee in the lunchroom! :)

Quotes
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Ah, you could use any excuse from that book! Like, you forgot it was daylight saving!

Yes, this is true. But it was pretty funny that there was a reference to my wallet in it. Oh yeah, my wallet turned up as well, so that makes me glad.

With regard to excuses, how about 'I'm sorry, I slipped in the shower and a lemon went up my bottom.' Truly, a magnificient excuse.

Is that an excuse of yours, or the truth? As it disappeared, did you yell out loud, "Ohh, it's a bit tart!"

My fave part of your place has got to be the hobbit hole..!! However, I am disturbed about the pit in the hobbit hole. What you need is ground searching radar from CSI to find whether a body is there or not..!!

Yeah, I have to admit that it is a bit of a worry. I haven't summed up the energy to actually lifting the covers to see what's under there. Maybe there's some dead German guys who have eaten each other to death? Look out! Zee Germans!

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Time:	12:41 pm.
Mood:	anxious.

Welp, we have our house warming do-dackey thing tonight, but the day has not yet been of to the best start possible. Last night I had trouble finding my wallet, and this morning I'm convinced it's gone missing. I'll look in another couple of places before I have to start cancelling all my cards, what a pain.
Shannon had pity on me, and we went down to the local cafe and had a great breakfast of eggs and toast and bacon and all that kind of stuff. It's like a few minutes walk away, but we took the car, as you do.

I'm really quite buzzy about the concert tomorrow, I hope it doen't rain on Mr Loaf. Well actually, bugger Mr Loaf, I hope it doesn't rain on us more than anything... Its going to be a great affair though I'm thinking.

So other than the washing machine leaking all over the laundry floor, and the hot water pressure being less than perfect, things are pretty much tickety boo with the house. I think the best part of all is that it isn't haunted. That's always got to be a bonus right?

I haven't heard from Kaine in England since the wedding in November, so I'm thinking he's being a bit of a slack 'un :). Sure, I'm too cheap to give him a call, but that's completely beside the point really.

There's so much to do, and so little money to do it with! Especially when one's wallet is playing hide and seek. Shannon pointed out a saying in my little book of excuses, "I'm sorry, I must have left my wallet in another life", which I'm thinking pretty much sums up today.

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Time:	8:51 pm.
Mood:	busy.

Okay already!!! I'll update, sheesh!

I'm very busily packing stuff into boxes so I'm all ready to chuck it on the truck Friday morning and shift house. Not like last time when they were asking me, "Are you sure you're all ready to start putting things on the truck??", to which I naturally responded non-commitally, "Of course!". But then a few hours later stuff of mine was cropping up still and having to be put loose on the dirty truck, much to the chargrin of those helping out.

Which so totally reminds me. I have a Valve/Mosfet hybrid amp that weighs a tonne free to a good home. The compnents alone are worth over 2 grand even if you just want to like strip it apart and use the bits. It had a bit of work to be done on the high end, but I already had a mod for that, just never got around to doing anything about it. If you want it, it's all yours! Just come and get it. Got all the circuit diagrams and assorted paraphanalia as well, so you won't be shooting in the dark! (snigger)

Work has been constant, but even, which has suited me right fine. The landlord(s) are still being bitchy, and it's all I can do to just hold my tongue. They still have my bond and I don't want things getting out of control. My emotional state is even keel, and I'm feeling right dandy.

Went to Shannon's birthday dinner at Dennys on Sunday, and it was all good. Lime milkshake and funny conversation. Then I headed off to a drinkies with a woman I know from work. No pool though, and I'm starting to get the pool shakes.

I must remember to meet up with my _new_ landlady tomorrow evening to do the pre-move in inspection and grab the keys. Must remember, Must remember. I know I can, I know I can. But who am I fooliing? I have a memory like a squeezed lemon, so will probably forget.

Quotes
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Uhhhh.... How did you manage to convince this girl that you are a dick? How long did it take? Was it a record? Was she, in fact, blind? Was she hot? Were you fiddling with a banana in a suggestive manner?

Fiddling with a banana in a suggestive manner? No, but that's a brilliant idea. I think I'll do that next time. You should write a dating book.

Yeah. I think if I were tweaking womens nipples in supermarkets, Nat would smack me in the head with a frozen chicken. Hopefully she and the tart would get into a bitch slap and we could chuck jelly all over them and sell tickets.

Would Nats be into that type of thing? NATALIE! You continue to surprise me with your keen interest in jelly. As long as you pay for the jelly of course, I'm keen to watch!

Woohoo! I was wondering why you were leaving Waterview. Shannon's gonna take care of you good and proper, just like yo mother =D

Bwahaha. Right. Okay. Stop right there, you're scaring me luv.
It should be cool, it has an open fireplace and all! All we need now is the shagpile carpet and the sideburns. What sideburns have to do with anything is franky weird. But I digress.

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Time:	8:13 pm.
Mood:	giddy.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATRINA!!!!

You babearoosa babe you. XXXXXXxxxxOOOoooo

Well the big news of the day really is that I've found a new flat, and I'm moving into this new flat with Shannon on the 27th. We're not moving in as a couple though you must understand. The neat things about this new place are:

->Dishwasher (Thank God!! No more manual washing dishes!)
->Open fire place! Good for wooing chicky babes.
->Large cobbled area at the back. Great for summer BBQs!
->Waste disposal unit - No more smelly meat being kept in the freezer until rubbish day
->Shower that has one of those shower heads on a cord type thing. How am I living without this??
->Alarm system to minimise my insurance premiums
->Sharing bills with another person. Phew.
->>> And last but not least, Not the same landlord!!! (Biche')

Hey, this is a ground breaking journal entry. I really think that's the first time I've ever said anything nasty about someone in my journal..... Grrrr But I am a little tired of all the carry on.

We went to sign the paperwork today. I was walking down the hallway to the meeting room with Shannon, and this is on the end of our conversation:

S - You just called me Sharon!
P - No I didn't!
S - You did so.
P - I'm sure I didn't.
S - Hmmmmm

We're talking to the ladies in there, finishing the signing off.

P - So yeah, Sharon and I move in on the 27th then. (Or something along those lines)
S - SEE!!!! You just called me Sharon again!
P - No I didn't!
S - Grrr

This in front of the bemused women.

So yes. I'm moving in on the 27th, I think Shannon is as well, but he may leave it until the next day or something....I'll have to ask actually. Hows that for communication folks? Do we have any volunteers to bake the movers yummy cookies on the day?? :)

Natalie had great news as well. She got a job as a legal secretary.

P - You must be so glad you've got a job!
N - Hell yeah!
P - And it must make you feel like a vlued member of society
N - Now hang on there! I'm a woman Paul, I do prefer to just shop!

I had a blind date last night. 'nuff said really.

Quotes:
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Right. So you like to watch two women getting sweaty together. You despicable pervert. Did you get any video footage?!? :-P

Hah! None that you're seeing :)

Instead of panty liners, you could be on the lookout for strategically positioned bananas. This is a good way to pick up chicks in the supermarket. If the bunch is pointing up, they are available and gagging for you to tweak their nipples.

Right. Next time we're in a supermarket, I'll stealthily turn some woman's bananas over, and you can try tweaking her nipples. Sounds like bear fist-fighting fun to me boy-o!

Everything forbidden tastes like chicken. Even a tuatara would taste like chicken. Hmmm. Perhaps we could open a fast-food store specialising in weird food. We could call it 'It May Be F*ckin' Weird, But It Tastes Like Chicken!'

Little as I enjoy telling you this, I think you're on to something big here.

Stolen from Shannon's journal:

S - I feel sick to my stomach!

P - I do too! I just went on a blind date with a girl who now thinks I'm a dick :)
Ahhh isn't it grand?

S - Save time! Get the blind date orgainser person to say that in advance....

Nice one....

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Time:	10:21 pm.
Mood:	chipper.

I went to my first triatalon today! Fortunately it was just watching them do it, not getting all sweaty and out of control myself.
Georgia and Louise did excessively well! Even though they both looked a little haggard at the end, but it was a good achievement. The breakfast across the road in Mission Bay was also very nice, and the lady serving was pretty sweet!

Such a busy long weekend, it'd be very hard to even try to begin, so I wont. Suffice to say that there was chess playing and shopping and pool (a day earlier than usual), and dinner with Katrina and Justin... Such a cool time all weekend.

I'm all set for the coming week - bring it on!

Quotes:
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"Scone mix"?

Can't you be a real man and make it from raw ingredients? :-)

Nope, it's a simple choice between them tasting good, or them actually tasting like I made them, which is invariably not a good idea!

Ho hum. Already brought it to your attention that pak'n'slave doesn't have scone mix. Obviously you never listen to me.

I never have, why start now? :) If I'd listened to you in the past, we would have careered off the road many times by now into stationary cows.

It would be a more interesting pantry if it contained a flambeed penis. Is cannibalism illegal in NZ?!

Right. I'm seriously wondering what on earth I could possibly add to this conversation, it's a real struggle! Other than to wonder out loud if we taste like chicken?

Looking into other guys shopping trolleys eh Paul. Something you're not telling us? Whats wrong with looking at the girls shopping trolleys?

Uhhh hu. You something sexual in looking at someone elses trolley? Are you off your trolley? :) Besides, I have little need for panty liners.

Have fun people. I hope your week brings you fun and anti-boredom!

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Time:	6:57 pm.
Mood:	amused.

I had a great day down at lake Karepiro with Phil, Nats and Lynda. Some of those boats are sooooo loud, it's cool. They smell like the racing cars do at the speedway, and they're every bit as quick. It's a pleasent drive down there, stopping in at Caimbridge on the way down to eat at one of their many fine cafes.... but only ending up eating a meat pie. True, it was a very nice meat pie, but how can you really sex up gravied meat in a pastrie?

I did a grocery shop tonight and laughed at myself - I buy the most junk food of anyone I know. I look in another guys shopping trolly and he has stuff like jasmine rice, a leak or two, freshly squeezed orange juice and wholegrain bread, whereas mine consists of burger rings, fizzy drink, V, up and go, chicken cordon bleu, packets of lollys...... But guess who has the more interesting pantry? :)

Oh, and I found that sifter I've been after. 10$ at pac'n'save, how about that? All those homeware shops that didn't have one, and I drop into the local grocery shop and there you go. Although they get a big black mark for not having any scone mix. Woah is me!

No quotes. It's all meat and no fat!

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Time:	12:53 am.
Mood:	bouncy.

Goldenhorse rocked! Though none of us were very amused by the band immediately before them calling themselves Gasoline Cowboy. They played their intruments well, but the lead singer really couldn't cut it. I think if they replaced him with Jon Bon Jovi they'd do pretty well. Seriously though, he tried to pull off those Meatloaf power vocals, and instead started breaking up halfway through.

Anyways, back to Goldenhorse. The lead singer is a babe. She has a fantastic voice. The rest of the band know their stuff as well, in fact they did a bit of a 'Roxette', and one of the guitarists sung a song and she did backing vocals... it worked really well. I'm not saying that they sung a Roxette tune, just that that is what Roxette started doing, and then it turned into a regular thing.

Work was just amazing today. I did stuff, and then went and did other stuff immediately after. And had a great lunch down at 277 with Ian. Knocked off at 5:30, came home and ate one of those instant potato and gravy things, just add water. Way too salty. Went to sleep for an hour.

Salmon at Georgias! Wow!! She did such a great job of cooking it too, melted in my mouth like a delecate piece of candyfloss. It was a truly amazing experience! And I beat Louise at chess!!!! WAHOOOO! Guys sooo rock. :)

Afterwards we headed down to the Bog for drinks and to watch the band play. What a great day.

Quotes
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That was soooo helpful. Thanks! :P

I'm a really helpful guy when you get to know me! I play chess and pool also :)

Also, there are plenty of local bands up here that play in the local pubs etc. So, missing Goldenshower or whatever isn't so bad.

Goldenshower! You excel in wittyness sometimes! Not a bad name for an alternative band really. Maybe I'll copyright the name. I can imagine what the pubs in Wellsford are like though dude. Something out of once were warriors? Do you get to see Jake much?

Further, I must add that I have a movie-idea project: Return Of The Mutant Ass Invaders. There would be these mutant ass invaders terrorising a small town, then a dude who is a cross between Batman and Jackie Chan starts sorting them out in a Matrix style, slow mo' kung fu type way.

Frankly I find your infatuation with ass invading rather disturbing, even if veiled ina thin curtain of Kung Fu in a vain attempt to make it socially acceptable :P On the other hand, what do these mutants actually look like? Helen Clarke?

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Time:	9:07 pm.
Mood:	hopeful.

My house is being overly warm at the moment, it is most displeasing. Even with all the windows open, I fry whilst doing the dishes. I kinda wish it was snowing at the moment so that we could all make snowmen. And snowwomen. Snowmen are the coolest! :)

Where the hell did that come from?

So yeah. Looking forwards to the goldenhorse concert at the zoo tomorrow. I've hardly heard any of their stuff, but I'm sure I'll like them. There seems to be a lot of this sort of thing going on at the moment, Auckland city really has bucked it's ideas up recently, which is very pleasing to see. Too bad if you live in Wellsford :) Bwa ha ha ha

Work is very cruisy at the moment, but it's also very busy. It's the kind of work that everyone wishes they could do, but instead are stuck with jobs like under-arm sniffing for deodorant effectiveness testing and stuff like that.

What's the worst job you've ever done? What's the worst job one of your friends have ever done? How low would you sink to still have a job?

Job. Job. Funny word really. I wonder who invented it.

Quotes:
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Phil and Nats in Wellsford? Who are they? I must know!

They my love are the unfortunate people who won't be attending the goldenhorse concert tomorrow at the zoo! :P
They also have a lot of lawn to mow. If I were them, I'd concrete over the entire lot. I'd make a snowman out of concrete and put him in the middle of the now desolate back yard. Take that lawn! And that!

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Time:	10:17 pm.
Mood:	content.

What an absolutely great weekend!
Heaps of cool people and doing heaps of summery cool stuff.

Shot up to Welsford on Sunday to see Phil and Nats, and talked about how to make the perfect pikelet (As you do). Being so far out of Auckland, I had to leave by 4:30 to get to pool by 6:00, where all the cool people met up for the weekly battle.
Afterwards it was down to the Angus Steak house to meet a lot more people, (well at least I think they were human, but you can never be too sure these days, what with the aliens stealthily taking over the planet). Meat for Africa! Lots of sickly feeling girls and boys afterwards.

Today was just Magical. I met up with Louise and we did the cafe in Devonport thing and watched the aerial display put on for the benefit of Aucklanders who were wandering around completely on holiday. There was a free concert in the park out Pt Chev way, so we popped out there and ran in to a few others that we both knew, including Jacob and Helen, Darryn and Jason.

Funny but true story - Louise and I were talking about James bond women, and the conversation steered the way of Pussy Galore. I dared her to introduce herself to people in the future as 'Pussy', and she gladly accepted, as she's got my warped sense of what's right in the world. Anyways, Darryn came over and introduced himself:
D: "Hi, I'm Darryn"
L: "Hi, I'm Pussy"
D: "Hows it going? Sorry, what did you say your name was?"
L: "Pussy"
D: "Did you say Missy?"
L: "No! Pussy!"
D: "Ehhh ha ha ha. Okay." (Scratches ear)
Me: "Bwa ha ha ha ha!" (BANG!) <- me exploding with mirth.

Darryn told a funny story. He was standing outside the Angus Steak House, and Katie, Lana's friend, came up to him (Remembering here that he didn't know her from a bar of soap), and said to him:
K: "Hey!!! Are you stalking me?!!"
D: "No!!" (Worried, shocked look)
K: "Why not?!!"

Bizzare.

Work tomorrow. I could do with another day to get over the long weekend.

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Time:	9:18 pm.
Mood:	calm.

The weekend was a really outdoorsy one. With a bbq at long bay on Saturday, and a work bbq up at my bosses with the rest of the guys from work on Sunday, I ended up with a bit of face redness, but a lot less than I usually end up with. I've been slinking in the shadows, watching the sun pass harmlessly overhead.

It was a bizarre feeling playing pool at 11am on a Sunday. Lynda&Dan, Lana and Lana's friend from Dargaville turned up, and it was a brilliant way to start a day. I think I'll do it more often! Of course, we'll still need one in the eveniong as well, as some people can't make it at that time.

I've just found cobwebs on my TV room floor!!! How bizzare is that? What does that tell you about how much I watch TV? But there's nothing of any interest on. I'd rather be out doing something than watching some sad sacks on TV in some 'reality' show. Man, I can't wait until they die a sudden painfull death!

Quotes:
----------------------------------
typical firey white man

embrace the spirit,
embrace the life
live the legend
(Insert brandname here)

How about 'ExorcismsRus'?

Someone died in my bedroom once.

And what does that tell you about your love making technique? :)

It might just be like on Shortland Street, with the Dog's Day Inn (?) was all creaky after Geoff was murdered, but then no, just the hot water pipes. Or Geoff.

Or your over active imagination, causing you to think that there's a furry monster in your wardrobe, when in actual fact, it's just a vampire.

to make your story ten times worse, swap all instances of "trampled" with "probed" ...

Probed to death by a blue chick? I can think of worse ways to go.

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Time:	10:11 pm.
Mood:	uncomfortable.

My fridge is making spooky creaking noises, and it's making me think my house is haunted. If I start seeing dead people, I'm not going to be happy.

I've known several people who have been able to see dead people, so I think that there's more to this ghost business than meets the eye. One of my girlfriends had come across this ghost of a little girl in dutch clothing in an old house in Titirangi that her family was thinking about moving into. The dead girl by herself wouldn't have been so bad, but there was an old hag thrashing around inside her, screaming and making a general nuisence of herself... Suffice to say they didn't take the house. Turns out that that little girl's father had been a bit of a tyrant and beat the whole family up something chronic somewhere in the late 1800s. What a waste it is having a perfectly nice old house filled with bitter, angry, thrashing spirits. It's enough to ruin your day really.

I was a little scepticle about my bedroom here for a while, as my wardrobe used to be the indian family's shrine to some pagan god. I was a little worried about being trampled to death by some blue chick with an elephants snout and 6 arms whilst I was peacefully sleeping. Luckily it didn't transpire.

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Time:	3:27 pm.
Mood:	relaxed.

Okay, seriously, it's time to start work on a short Kung-Fu filled movie-ette. All those who wish to participate in this monumental event, please apply without delay to the director of extramurial activities, namely me. Tell me which part you'd most enjoy to play, and I'll tell you which part you can in fact play. Which may be largely different - Here's a worst case scenario.

You: 'I want to play the main bad dude who gets his/her head split open at the end!'
Me: 'You'll be playing the part of the anonymouse rubbish collector who gets gunned down in the first few seconds.'

Hasn't this weekend been great?

Friday night I had a neat time with Aaron and Amanda... we shot down to Mission Bay for fish and chips and then headed back to my place for a dvd. It's the small things in life....
Saturday I spent with my mum, kinda making up for the whole birthday fiasco... we went to look at an open home which had been renovated, giving her ideas for their new place.
Saturday night was spent eating kebabs and watching Meet the Feebles with Ian,Warren,Dave,Darryn, Geoff and Kylie. Talk about a strange movie, I'm amazed Peter Jackson has gotten so far in such a small amount of time! A puppet show wouldn't have been my choice though for a break-through movie.
The rabbit was funny. Thinks he has Mixamatosis the whole film, then finds out he doesn't... Only to be gunned down during his moment of jubilation. He was a frisky little rabbit too.

Quotes:
-------------------------------------------
I tried those tapes once. I was studying to be a lawyer, but my flatmate of the time switched tapes during the night, and put in a "How the become an a**hole in 1 easy lesson". Countless hour of counselling hasn't been able to undo the damage from that nasty incident.

Right, but you must have had a pre-existing disposition for it to take such a firm hold :)

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Time:	10:24 pm.
Mood:	amused.

Isn't theory great? In theory, I have about 5 hours to fill with interesting things such as getting fit, building a time machine and starting on serious study all after work. In practice, I'm always too tired to want to assimilate any more information, and therefore just sit on my ass, eating choc-bars and getting fat. Does anyone have a set of those subliminal tapes that I can just play and learn stuff whilst not even having to concentrate? If not, I think this is a completely untapped market and should be investigated asap, all for my benefit.

ARGH!!!! What an evil son I am. Bad, wicked naughty son. I forgot my mum's birthday today!! The first I remember is when my sister calls me to ask why I haven't turned up to her birthday dinner, and had I forgotten about it or something.... "Err, ummm well... no, I was just on my way!!". doh.

Georgia turned up tonight with a boot full of rubbish bags from the Christmas celebrations. They make the council weelie rubbish bins way too small, so it's a system of rubbish bin pooling when you find that for whatever reason you have far too much trash this week.

And work! Phew. Talk about busy as a busy thing resembling a green-tongued warbler. Still, I no complain, I enjoy the franticness.

Quotes: (Phew! There's a few)
-------------------------------
Dunno about delayed teenage angst. Why not just piss and shit your pants and cry for your mum? You know, delayed 6 month old baby angst?

Hmm, thats one way to impress your girlfriend. Oh, I forgot, you're married. In which case, go right ahead!

Nothing is ever easy. Except a total slut. Mmmm.... Slut...

It's legal now. You could make a bit on the side, under the table as it were. Of course, you don't have to exclusively under the table or anything. They may prefer in the gardin shed, or in front of the cat.

Watched 'Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels' again the other day. What a cool movie. Has a Bren and a Cobra. Cool. And wads of cash.

Lock stock has got to be one of my all time favourites. If anyone buys me a dvd, simply because I'm such a nice guy, get me lock stock! Or snatch. I wouldn't complain if I got snatch for free.
Hah! I just read that. It sounds rude.

eskimo pussy tastes mighty cold...

Dude, I'm seriously worried about you. What are you doing eating dead eskimos?

Tune in next time when educated Latin scholar Spidey says 'Res ipsa loquitur'.

You know what? That's gotta be one of your classier funnier ones :) If only we knew what it meant We're obviously not classy enough.
It got me thiking really, wouldn't it be great to learn the older style of latin with a few mates or something? Talk exclusively like roman centurians whenever you're out and about...

Phil - Does anyone have any copies of 'After School' on video? I'm trying to regain my childhood. You know, with Ollie Olsen?
Chelsea - I wanna see After School too. And 3:45 Live.

I think you guys would be bitterly disappointed. You're remembering those shows through rose tinted time goggles! Besides, Ollie wasn't real.

Though 300 confused Asian students joined my cult. Anyone for Kool-Aid?

Dude, you are seriously (secretly) funny, but (publically) insane. I just can't admit in public that that was remotely amusing. It would be against my better judgement. And a slight on Kool-aid, who i'm sure make a tip-top non-killing drink.

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